Muslims Riot Against Western Media’s Censorship of Nude Kate Photos

Global protests erupted this week as Muslim communities across the world rioted at the hypocritical and anti-Islamic Western media bias, which continues to mock Muslims by revealing the existence of nude Kate Middleton photos without showing them.

Muslim men protest in Egypt holding a banner demanding “Right to a free press, Kate’s breasts.”

One demonstrator, Muammar Farali (23), said that the suppression of nude Kate photos was clearly an assault on the Islamic community.

“This is typical of the West’s blatant hostility to Islam,” said Mr. Farali, an engineering student from Cairo. “Do you know how hard it is being a strict Muslim man? Our religion forbids drinking, smoking, and taking drugs, and all the bitches have been in purdah since the age of 12. If my balls don’t get to release soon, they are just going to explode!”

“And then, just as I’m thinking that, the BBC tells me that there are nude pictures of Kate Middleton out there? And then they don’t show them? Death to the infidels!” A large crowd of young men roared in support.

Senior figures in the Islamic world have also condemned the West for abandoning the principle of a free press. Leading human rights activist Tariq Habub (41) said that a vital democratic issue was at stake.

“We Muslims believe absolutely in free speech and open governance,” said Mr. Habub. “That’s why we deplore moves by Western media corporations to refrain from publishing these photos. Nothing is more important to a healthy, functioning society than free expression and freedom of information.”

Muslims demand that ‘Christian fascists’ respect the rights of free speech, porn.

“The people have a right to see Kate’s tits!” he cried passionately, while the crowd chanted: “Free press, free breasts.”

The head of the Muslim Council for Women’s Rights, Lerila Noor (52), said that the treatment of Kate Middleton was typical of the West’s degrading attitudes towards women.

“Islam respects the female body,” said Ms. Noor in an interview at her offices in Riyadh. “That’s why we cover it up from head to toe, so the foul Western paparazzi can’t get shots of us in the nip.”

“But in the West women are simply objectified sex objects,” she said in dismay. “Has anyone in the Western media ever had any interest in what Kate Middleton has to say, in who she is as a person? No, they just treat her like a fashion exhibition on legs.”

“The only way for Western women to fight this gender oppression is to take control of their own objectification, like Lady Gaga. Don’t hide it, flaunt it! Parade those tits and arses on your own terms,” she said as the surrounding members of the Muslim Council for Women’s Rights peeled their burqas off and posed suggestively for the flashing cameras.

The Muslim Council for Women’s Right attacks the sexist Western media.

This heady combination of free speech, women’s rights activists, and Kate Middleton’s lissom nudity has ignited large-scale protests across the world for the right of Muslims everywhere to enjoy unobscured views of Kate’s breasts.

However, major Western media outlets remain firm in their stance against radical Islamic demands for free speech. At a news conference today, head of the BBC ethics committee, Sir Jenkins Royston-Hodgson, said: “No way are those camel jockeys allowed to feast their beady eyes on our Princess Kate. There is such a thing as decency! Although I wouldn’t expect those smelly Muslims to know anything about that.”

Outside, the torches and loins of Islamists for a Free Press burned.

2 Responses to Muslims Riot Against Western Media’s Censorship of Nude Kate Photos

  1. The Witchking of Angmar says:

    THE VATICAN IS EVIL. PERIOD

    ISLAM IS DOUBLE EVIL. PERIOD

    RELIGIOUS FUNDAMENTALIST LEADERS ARE TRIPLE EVIL. PERIOD

    MODERN RELIGION IS POISON. WE KEEP HEARING THAT BUT NO ONE LISTENS.

    COMMUNISM IS DOUBLE POISON. WE SEE IT YET WE TRUST IT.

    MODERN IDEOLOGY HAS FAILED US.

    LET US BRING BACK THE ANCIENT WAYS.

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