Christian Bale Seriously Fucking Pissed Off That Melissa Leo Used ‘F-Word’ in Oscar Speech

Los Angeles – Hollywood was shocked today as new footage emerged from the Oscars that shows Christian Bale angrily reacting on stage to Melissa Leo, winner of the Best Supporting Actress Oscar, for her seriously fucking unprofessional use of the ‘F-word’ in her acceptance speech.

Leo (50) shocked the tender ears of American audiences by saying, “When I watched Kate Winslet two years ago, it looked so fucking easy!” thereby dropping what reporters later called ‘the F-bomb.’

However, new footage that was prevented from being broadcast live by an extensive commercial break has revealed how deeply upset Christian Bale, her co-star in The Fighter, was with the ignorant bitch’s rudeness to her fucking colleagues.

“I want you off the fucking stage, you prick!” interrupted a shocked Bale with a scream at the petrified actress. “No, don’t just be sorry, think for just one fucking second. What the fuck are you doing? Do you think it’s acceptable to just stand up here and swear at these people?”

The furious Bale then punched a couple of dickheaded security men so he could continue remonstrating with Ms. Leo.

“I really don’t mean to offend, and [it was] probably a very inappropriate place to use that particular word,” stammered Leo, shaking. “There’s a great deal of the English language that is in my vernacular.”

"Do you really want me to rip it off?" shrieked Bale, causing many women to faint.

"Do you really want me to rip it off?" shrieked Bale, causing many women to faint.

Bale was in no mood for such feeble excuses, however. “Am I going to walk around and rip down your fucking dress on stage so America can see the sagging tits in your vernacular?” he snarled sarcastically.

“If you don’t want to offend anyone with those inappropriate things, then just keep your fucking dress up. Don’t make me fucking rip it off! Watch your fucking mouth. Don’t just go waltzing around the stage going oh-dee-do-dee-fucking-da while we’re trying to be professional.”

“Fuck,” said Bale, trying to calm himself down in order to go on with the show. “You are so fucking amateur.”

Bale has long been a noted champion of polite manners and courtesy to others. In July 2008, he famously took issue with a fuckwit who disturbed a film set by walking behind the camera while a scene was being filmed. That same month, a discussion over appropriate behaviour led to Bale being arrested for assaulting those well-known bitches – his mother and sister – at Dorchester Hotel.

At the Oscars, the Dark Knight of etiquette continued his crusade against social impropriety.

“Can somebody do something about this bitch?” said Bale, jerking a thumb at the tearful Leo. “She just doesn’t give a FUCK about what’s going on in front of the camera. We’re trying to present a fucking show, live to a fucking global audience, and I can’t concentrate on what I’ve got to do if you keep saying ‘fuck’ to that audience.”

Bale's dismissive thumb gesture is rightly feared in Hollywood.

Bale's dismissive thumb gesture is rightly feared in Hollywood.

“Just stay off the fucking stage,” he said in disgust. “For fuck’s sake. Right, let’s keep going.”

“No, let’s not take a fucking minute, let’s go again!” yelled Bale at the stage manager, who was trying to bring some semblance of calm to proceedings. “You just don’t understand what it’s like fucking working with actors. I’m going to fucking kick your ass if you don’t shut up!”

The live feed then returned, and Bale turned urbanely to the camera to give his acceptance speech for Best Supporting Actor.

While many were shocked by the evening’s events, legendary star Jack Nicholson said it was about fucking time Hollywood stopped presenting sanitised versions of the world and showed it how it is.

“This is as bullshit as the Janet Jackson Superbowl incident,” drawled Nicholson in disgust. “People use the word ‘fuck’; Janet Jackson has tits. I mean, is this information you didn’t already fucking know?”

“Next thing you’ll be taking pictures of the huge dump I just left in the john,” he added, before groaning as the papparazzi made a rush for the toilet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: