Liberals Vow to Fight Bush’s Democratic Wave in Middle East
February 17, 2011 Leave a comment
Washington – In developments that have struck nausea and outrage into America’s liberals, the people of the Middle East are rising up to overthrow dictators and demand their democratic human rights, exactly as George Bush planned.
In 2003, the liberal community mocked George Bush’s ‘Greater Middle East Initiative,’ which was a “forward strategy of freedom” that would bring “God’s gift of democracy” to the Arab world through a righteous war that would make Iraq a “beacon of freedom” in the Middle East.
“One cannot simply impose one’s own ethnocentric practices onto a different region,” said well-known liberal activist Prof. Gerald Jose-Nibombe-Kwang-Tatanka Huffington in 2003. “The war in Iraq is simply a machination of transnational capitalist interests launching a neo-colonial drive against the oppressed masses, on whose behalf I campaign so tirelessly.”
“This medieval ‘Greater Middle East Initiative’ is an embarrassment to our enlightened liberal values,” he added superciliously.
Now, in 2011, much to the gobsmacked disgust of Prof Huffington and liberal cosmopolitan elites everywhere, the Bush plan seems to be working.
After establishing democracy in Iraq, a democratic wave is sweeping the Middle East, with massive protests toppling dictators in Tunisia and Egypt, and now further pro-democracy demonstrations are erupting in Algeria, Yemen, Libya and Bahrein.
“But surely this has much more to do with Obama and his inspirational liberal visions!” spluttered Prof. Huffington. “That barbaric, ill-educated Texan yahoo had nothing to do with it!”
Sadly for Prof. Huffington, the historical record shows otherwise. In 2005, as part of the Greater Middle East Initiative, Bush’s Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said in a major policy speech in Cairo: “For 60 years, my country, the United States, pursued stability at the expense of democracy in this region, here in the Middle East, and we achieved neither. Now, we are taking a different course. We are supporting the democratic aspirations of all people. It is time to abandon the excuses that are made to avoid the hard work of democracy.”
In 2009, Obama did his level best to backtrack from this position and explain that the US had no intention of supporting democracy in the Middle East.
Said Obama: “I know there has been controversy about the promotion of democracy in recent years, and much of this controversy is connected to the war in Iraq. So let me be clear: no system of government can or should be imposed upon one nation by any other.”
Fortunately for the people of Egypt, Obama’s craven liberal climbdown came too late to halt the ‘Bush Push’ for democracy.
“Why did American liberals think we would listen to some black Muslim? That’s exactly the kind of person who’s oppressing us,” said Rafina Larat (27), one of the pro-democracy protesters in Tahrir Square.
“What we needed was a big white American man wearing a Stetson hat, a real-life John Wayne ready to take his Winchester and bring Texas justice to the lawless and anti-democratic frontier.”
“George Bush WE LOVE YOU!” screamed Ms. Larat to cheers, before the crowd began waving posters of Bush and chanting “George Bush-u Akbar! George Bush-u Akbar!”
Seeing millions of democratic activists in the Middle East idolise their hero George Bush has sparked fury across the American liberal establishment.
“This outrage cannot be allowed to spread!” roared Prof. Huffington at a convention for literary academics and social scientists. “We must don our riot gear and immediately leave for these troubled dictatorships to help beat some sense into these protesting morons.”
“My fellow liberals, we must take up arms to fight democracy in the Middle East!”
The matter was then put to a vote, which unanimously called for a state-funded conference to discuss how best to uphold repressive Middle East dictatorships and thwart the evil plans of George Bush.