Twittering Media Fascinated by Egyptian Tweets, Popular Uprising

New York – As angry and downtrodden Egyptians rise up against the dictatorial rule of Hosni Mubarak, sparking global discussion about social and political transformation in the Middle East, the titans of world media have concluded that, really, Twitter is just so awesome.

Only 20% of the Egyptian population may have access to the Internet, and hardly anyone now that Mubarak has shut down the Internet service providers, but that hasn’t stopped news networks recognising and praising the power of social media whenever they talk about Egypt.

Egyptian protesters said they were mystified by these bizarre questions from US news networks.

Egyptian protesters said they were mystified by these bizarre questions from US news networks.

“The use of social media is the most fascinating aspect of this whole revolution,” declared Piers Morgan of CNN as thousands of protesters in Tahrir Square stood up for justice, human rights, and democracy. “I mean, where would these people be without Facebook and, in particular, Twitter?”

“Where would any of us be?” he asked. “Just the other night I tweeted my private list to see if anyone wanted to try out the new French restaurant on 42nd street and in thirty minutes a group of us met up and had a lovely basil salmon terrine with an exquisite Chablis.”

“Egyptian and New Yorker alike are united by the global power of Twitter,” announced Morgan grandly.

In just a couple of years, Twitter has transformed the lives of leading media journalists and thus, by extension, the rest of humanity. Most leading journalists now operate a Twitter feed so that they can Twitter on in public throughout the day.

Thomas Friedman of the New York Times was quick to extol the power of social media to make the world more American. “The diffusion of Twitter, Facebook and texting finally gives them a voice to talk back to their leaders and directly to each other,” wrote Friedman.

"Just think how quickly they could have built those things using Twitter," said Friedman.

"Just think how quickly they could have built those things using Twitter," said Friedman.

“Prior to these innovative American inventions, Egyptians were unable to talk to each other directly. They had to use a primitive sign language and sniff each others’ bottoms for recognition.”

“But now that they have social media, they seem to be rapidly developing the rudiments of American culture! I’ll bet pretty soon they won’t dislike Israel any more, and will enjoy a peaceful democratic non-Islamic lifestyle, with plenty of bacon.”

No one, however, eclipsed MSNBC in its in-depth analysis of social media in Egypt. (None of the following dialogue is invented – Ed.)

“Where would we be today, this week literally now, without this electronic communication in Egypt?” asked Lawrence O’Donnell of MSNBC to Chris Hughes, co-founder of Facebook, who was naturally on air to discuss the Egyptian crisis.

“Technology is a lifeblood of what’s going on here,” said Hughes. “I mean, we can even imagine here in America, if we didn‘t have cell phones, if we only had limited access to land lines, no Twitter, no Facebook, none of this stuff, we wouldn‘t know how to find a mass group of people in a small town or a city.”

As well as allowing people who live a stone’s throw from each other to communicate without throwing stones, Facebook also apparently maintains world peace.

"Facebook and Twitter are the uncovered breasts of Liberty leading the people," declared O'Donnell.

"Facebook and Twitter are the uncovered breasts of Liberty leading the people," declared O'Donnell.

“I mean, it sounds to me, Chris—you‘ve thought about this more than the rest of us,” began O’Donnell, deferentially bowing to the Facebook co-founder’s knowledge of Egyptian politics, “that turning off the Internet could actually lead to more violence, because people could find themselves with less ability to organize peacefully and their actions would start to become more random.”

“Yeah, that’s absolutely true,” said Hughes, as the screen behind him showed thousands of people chanting in unison, being led by a man with a megaphone.

“Although somehow the French managed to have a revolution without Facebook or Twitter,” added O’Donnell, mystified.

As the protests continue, media networks have pledged that they will continue to follow events live on Facebook and Twitter, rather than go to Egypt and find out what’s going on.

One Response to Twittering Media Fascinated by Egyptian Tweets, Popular Uprising

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Twittering Media Fascinated by Egyptian Tweets, Popular Uprising « Views from the Lifeboat -- Topsy.com

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