New Irish Monopoly Board Includes Square for Government

Dublin – With great fanfare yesterday a new Irish version of the popular board game Monopoly was revealed, with an extra square added for the Irish government.

Said John Heasley (41), a spokesperson for Waddingtons: “We’re absolutely delighted to introduce this new element into our popular board game. We feel it will add greater excitement and also reflect more accurately the contemporary state of Irish society.”

The new Irish version of Monopoly will include a square for 'Buy Government' in the top left.

The new Irish version of Monopoly will include a square for 'Buy Government' in the top left.

“Let’s face it – you can’t make half the money out of “Waterworks Utilities” as you can out of buying the government,” he added.

The new square sits at the corner previously occupied by “No Parking,” which players usually circled around for ages without being able to land on.

Those landing on “Buy Government” can now purchase government influence and see the value of their houses and rents increase.

“Yes, it’s a tremendous advantage to land on ‘Buy Government,’” agreed Heasley enthusiastically as he explained how this new square would change the dynamics of Irish monopoly.

“But what’s really innovative is that, unlike other squares that can only be owned by one player at a time, all of the players can buy the government and thus raise the rents on all of their houses.”

“It’s a win-win situation, except for the poor sap who has to pay the rent!” chortled Mr. Heasley.

Mr. Heasley explained that the ability of all players with sufficient cash to own a piece of the government was one of the new square’s ‘special properties’ that altered the natural workings of the Monopoly market.

Waddingtons said it planned to use this image for its new 'Buy Government' square.

Waddingtons said it planned to use this image for its new 'Buy Government' square.

“Traditionally, Monopoly was played on a level playing field and it was down to the individual player’s skill and luck,” said Mr. Heasley. “But ‘Buy Government’ adds a whole new element. Every time you land on the square, after the initial purchase of the government through campaign funds, you get to take a card from the ‘Government Chance’ deck.”

The ‘Government Chance’ deck includes such wildcards as: “A fortunate meeting at the Galway Races has seen your property rezoned and double its value,” or “A friend in high places has just gotten you planning permission. Add five houses and a hotel to all your properties.”

The new rules have also added a doomsday scenario into the game’s design.

“At some point, every player will own a piece of the government and get their share of government favours,” said Mr. Heasley. “If, or more likely when that happens, the number of houses and the size of rents on the board will explode to astronomical levels. Players will barely be able to move at all without paying a fortune.”

“At this point, all the players will try to sell their houses to the bank to raise money, but the bank won’t have sufficient cash for such outrageously overpriced properties.”

“This raises the possibility of everyone losing by all going bankrupt simultaneously.”

Some of Ireland's many homeless people enjoy a game of Irish monopoly.

Some of Ireland's many homeless people enjoy a game of Irish monopoly.

In such a doomsday scenario, players can take a wildcard from the ‘Government Community Chest’ deck, which controls funds taken from the national community and can be distributed to the players.

The deck consists of cards like: “NAMA has bought out your properties at their full prices. You may buy them back in ten turns for one-fifth of the price,” or “A friendly golf game has led to a blanket guarantee of your debts. You can travel for free for ten turns.”

The winner is then the one who has landed on ‘Buy Government’ the most times and gotten the most ‘Government Chance’ and ‘Government Community Chest’ cards.

Parents were enthusiastic about the new rules. “I always felt that Monopoly was a great way for children – and even a few adults – to learn about the workings of the market,” said Gerard Hegarty (48) after buying the new game.

“But this new version will really teach our children what it’s like to do business in the Irish market.”

“The only thing I think they should add is an “Escape to Australia” square for those who are tired of the madness and want to go do something else.”

One Response to New Irish Monopoly Board Includes Square for Government

  1. I’d like to play on the square,it looks so amazing,so interesting.

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