New Irish Mail-Order Husband Service Surprisingly Successful

One of Ireland’s only recent economic success stories is a new mail-order husband service, http://www.GetYourGombeen.com, which offers to set foreign women up with impoverished Irish men desperate for a new start abroad. The company, set up by Russian entrepreneur Olga Shirova in 2009, has rapidly become a beacon of hope for many Irish men trapped in the middle of nowhere without the money to start a better life somewhere else.

Miss Shirova, a stunning blonde in a designer black Versace dress, modelled the service on the Russian mail-order bride service that originally brought her to the Ireland in 2007. “For me, as a young girl from Siberia, escaping to a richer life in the West was a hope I cherished throughout the long cold winters of my childhood. The mail-order bride company offered me a chance, and when an Irish man offered to take me away to the glamorous West, how could I refuse?”

“Of course, he didn’t explain that by “the West” he meant Sligo,” added Miss Shirova icily.

The glamorous West

The glamorous West

“After two years of marriage I claimed citizenship and divorced him, but now I had a shiftless ex-husband hanging around trying to bum money off me. I needed a way to get rid of him, but by then the recession had hit and there were no real Russian men still around to do the job.”

Fortunately, Miss Shirova hit upon an even better solution – selling off her husband by post to a woman from Latvia. “I had no idea many women abroad consider Irish men attractive partners,” said Miss Shirova. “I put him on Ebay as a joke, but he was snapped up within hours. That’s when I knew I was onto something big. This country is a goldmine of shiftless layabout men with poor hygiene and no money, and it seems the world is full of perverts who like that.”

According to research into the phenomenon by Trinity Professor of Economics Sheila Callaghan, Irish men are generally viewed by women who haven’t met any as “roguish, charming, funny, and darkly handsome.” Prof. Callaghan commented on the results, saying, “We wondered why – in the name of fucking Jesus! – anyone would want to pay money for an Irish husband. The results left our (all-female) research team flabbergasted. Those shifty conniving fuckers had just pulled off the greatest marketing swindle in business history.”

“Of course, as usual, they hadn’t done any of that work themselves. Our research showed that the image of the roguishly charming Irish male is largely a creation of the American media, and is usually played by non-Irish actors, like Tom Cruise in Far and Away. The lazy fat bastards lounging around this country are just riding the wave.”

The roguishly charming Irish male enjoys life to the full.

The roguishly charming Irish male enjoys life to the full.

That hasn’t stopped many Irish men from extolling it as the greatest wave they’ve ever ridden. Dessie O’Shaughnessy, formerly of Ballybegor and now Abu Dhabi, said signing up with http://www.GetYourGombeen.com was one of the best decisions he’d ever made. “Sure, what was I doin’ at home only pickin’ at me hole,” he said, lounging in a silken toga atop a waterbed in his luxurious apartments in the Royal Palace. “Then I signed up for the laugh, you know, and I got taken in by some Arabian princess who wanted an Irish man to complete her collection. It’s not a bad life; the lads in the harem are all sound, except for that French cunt, and the missus generally leaves us in peace, which is more than you could ask from an Irish bird.”

“I could murder a pint, though,” he added with a faraway stare in his eyes.

Robbie Bucket, formerly of North Dublin, had a less glamorous adventure but said he was still content with his decision. “Sure, I got bought by someone in Alabama and I thought, “States, yeah? States is deadly.” But then I got here and it’s not like the telly at all, it’s all fucking countryside and the missus thought because I was Irish I’d be used to it. I said, “Wha’? Do I look like a fuckin’ culchie or something?” But after a few fuck-ups like that it’s actually been all right, you know? She doesn’t nag me or nothing, whereas some Irish one’d always be in your fucking ear whinin’ on about somethin’. And I’ve never had it off with someone who wasn’t totally legless before, and it’s actually a lot better because you don’t have to worry about her pukin’.”

“She does keep asking me to stop saying “Jaysus,” though,” he admitted. “She’s a bit religious like that.”

Miss Shirova said that at least 35% of all men aged 18-35 in Ireland were now signed up with her company, and as the recession deepens she expects that to increase to over 50%. Both Irish men and Irish women said they were satisfied with that prospect.

21 Responses to New Irish Mail-Order Husband Service Surprisingly Successful

  1. Pretty nice post. I simply stumbled upon your blog and wanted to mention that I’ve really loved browsing your blog posts. In any case I will be subscribing on your feed and I am hoping you write again soon!

  2. Margaret says:

    Damn! I thought this was serious- I am Irish-American so I have no illusions. I just figured I would like a guy to go out to dinner with now and again and he can go out drinking with his mates the rest of the time and leave me alone.

    I guess it’s just cheaper to rent someone by the hour…

  3. vICTORIA lEE says:

    I am interested in a irish mailorder husband how do I begin

  4. jocelyn hamel says:

    I need an irsh husband how can I start?

  5. Jennifer Morales says:

    I really wanna get married and I am interested in Irish men! I wanna know how I can get started and are there any fees and set up costs to get started how long the process can take and etc!!!!!!! I am interested in guys around my age so I guess I am wondering if theres any men in this program 25 years old or so no older!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really am interested and I am looking forward to hearing from you soon!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks!!! :)

    • erica wagner says:

      Girlfriend getting makeover get a plane ticket and go over to Ireland and find your man

    • Amy Stevenson says:

      Hi! I am an International Matchmaker! If you re interested, contact me at amyceltic@gmail.com. I specialize in marriages, I am American, and all of the men I have are from Europe. Conact me if you are serious only

  6. Jack Matjani says:

    I have been trying many agencies / web sites. But non of them are reliable… I’m 31yo European guy who has a MBA degree, have my own business, no kids, love sailing, free diving. I could say maybe I’m not a brad Pitt but also not that ugly. Don’t need a US passport or so on… And I cannot find a proper bride… So you tell me, from where to get start?

    • Leyla Elaine says:

      Hi Jack. I’m a slender, attractive and fun loving girl, but I live in Houston Tx where none of the men have jobs. (Plenty of jobs are available but Houston men think they’re too good to work.) I would be happy to meet a European man with an education and some ambition. Those of you who fit that description, contact me.

      • Logan says:

        hey Leyla, im 29 Irish-American living in the houston area. I have a Job, soon getting a better one. So I guess you could say im one of the good ones. Also planning a move to ireland in a year or 2.

    • erica wagner says:

      Keep on looking she’s out there like all guys say women make so she’s waiting for you to find her

    • Denise says:

      you talk to us

  7. catherine ashworth says:

    Hurry! Lets do this! I need something and ypu need a visa!

  8. When someone writes an post he/she maintains the thought of a
    user in his/her brain that how a user can know it. Thus that’s why this post is great. Thanks!

  9. Fain al huub? says:

    This is great news! Please let me know if there is a service for boys from New Jersey (US). Shiftless layabout, that sounds a lot like my brother!

  10. Kat says:

    An educated European who is not a scam would be welcome

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 82 other followers

%d bloggers like this: